Anger is a funny thing. For part of my life I enjoyed it thoroughly and used it to improve performance, efficiency, accumen, and the occasional party trick, but now I have no use for it. It impedes my evolution, and destroys my carefully laid plans for success and family. I am not who I was, but I will never be who I want to be without laying this demon to rest once and for all. How to do it?
I've been on this Earth for 32 years.
I live and breath for one, really just for me.
Everything I want comes after that.
No matter how I want to improve my childrens' lives, or nurture and care for them, I can only live and breath for me and hope that what I do shows them what is possible by example. Only after I make these provisions for myself, can I provide what they need as a father figure and a mentor; a Nurturing, confident, firm, loving, and succesful presence in their lives that provides unconditional love and support, regardless of what life brings. I want them to see me and understand what it means to make that effort and choose to continue learning and growing in spite of what might otherwise be comfortable. I don't want to fail them in that or any capacity. A lofty goal if ever there was one, but a goal I cannot but attempt. They are the best of me, and I can't wait to see who they turn out to be.
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