Still here

I defy the world and all it's schemes and obstacles.  I am not so naive to believe I've overcome, God carried me,  yet I've not 'til today understood why I shouldn't fear anything.  I'd always felt bad before because it was defiance born of vanity and rage, therefore wrong.  I've known fear these last few years, but fell on His Grace to separate me from it and allow me to move on apart from it in spite of what I knew about the world.  I lost the fire of conviction, fell into doubt, and became misled by fear.  Fear is a lie.  I want to be reborn in that fire, and feel the truth of it in my heart, always.  To be reminded of what we should be, and have fallen so far from.  To reclaim that which is our birthright and our only purpose. 
Lord show me the way to ruin and redemption as a man should walk it.  I'll walk through any Hell that comes as long as you are with me.  I won't put my faith in man or myself any longer.  You sustained and redeemed me.  I owe nothing to man, though I will look after him as my brother. My mind and my soul are yours.  I lay my body down in sacrifice.  Make me an example for all who search for you, that we might understand that suffering in Your name is not loss. Show me your will and keep me close.  I surrender to you alone.
Grant me the strength to bare my soul again and the will to breath the bitterness of this world without burning in it.